I am tired of reading self-help books. You know what I mean? Those books that are just like "be more positive" and "if you bring the energy to you, it will come" and all that stuff. I'm a positive person and I really believe that the way we react to things in the world has a lot to do with how we do or do not find joy in our lives. It's tough, though, especially in these current times, trying to figure out who we are and how we can cope when everything around us is going crazy. Then a few years go by, then a few more years, and maybe you're like me and you've found yourself just like "Who is THAT person?" every time someone snaps a picture or you look in the mirror.
I work with teens in the summer, and every time I'm around them I feel like a teen too! That's the thing they never tell you as you're growing up. At some point, you will ALWAYS feel like your 16, or 22, or whatever age you IMPRINTED on yourself. So you'll be walking around at 35 years old and be like "Wow, I feel like I'm 18?!" In some ways . . . and then you'll be like "but my body" or "my mind" or "my life" aren't what I thought they'd be.
That's the hard part.
And when life throws you for a loop -- forget about it. You're just like HOW CAN I SURVIVE THIS?!?!?
After my father died, about a year later, I was cleaning out the trunk of my car and I found a box of exam books from a class I'd taught the semester he died. They were there, ungraded, rubber banded, with all my student's names on them. For the life of me, I could not remember what happened. Did I tell them that I lost them and re-do the essay? Did I just delete that category from the final grade? I dunno. What I do know is that when we're in survival mode, a lot of stuff slips away.
Sometimes, one of those "stuffs" is ourselves.
I've been thinking a lot about how to get my 'sizzle' and my 'bounce' back.
I'll keep you posted on how that goes.
In the meantime, what's your big dream that maybe you forgot a little bit about? Are you going after it?
It's 1am here in Ohio and I'm thinking about my big dreams.