What the what

I have no idea what this blog is for. Seriously. Back in the day I had a newsletter and lots of projects and missives and writing prompts and I monetized it and got some cash and so forth. I had a "theme" and a whole deal. But honestly, who is reading blogs these days and what are they for? I find myself going back to analog (well duh, I never left it). But you know what I did this week? I bought beautiful paper covered in pineapples to cover my analog organizer. Do you Gen Xers remember, back in the day, covering your books with grocery paper or those free white shiny book covers and then spending an entire year doodling and writing junk all over the book cover? Man, I miss that. My niece (is she a millenial? My high schoolers this summer argued that they're not "millenials" they're "generation Z" or "the iGen" and I'm like UGGGGH--but I digress) -- My niece, who is 18 and headed off to college, mostly spent her high school years texting to her friends in class, so there's less time for doodling eyes and faces and spirals and rainbows on your book covers. I miss that though. Time to breathe and zone out. Yes, I'm a teacher, and I know I'm basically saying "school was zone out time" but really, we have totally overprogrammed ourselves and our kids and they're weird. THEY ARE WEIRD. They can't hold a conversation. They don't know how to apologize if they've been shitty. They think thank you notes are dumb but they don't mind taking the presents! And they are addicted to their phones!

Ooops.

Cranky ole lady just showed up. HAHAHAHAH. Back to my post about breathing and zone out time.

My niece is off to college. She's been living with me for 7 years and I'm going to miss her. And she's off to live in the dorms at a big 4-year urban school. I'm the first person in my entire family to go to college, and I did it with 2 community colleges and transfer credits from 4 undergraduate institutions while working full time and wracking up student loans. Then I got an MFA and a PhD too. Yes, I'm a working-class bad ass -- BUT my niece: She's going to get to go and have that college experience I always dreamed about. She's so lucky. So -- since my delicious writing retreat this past summer, I have devoted every day to getting her ready and I've neglected myself AGAIN. I went back on my healthy eating plan, lost 7 pounds, and then put back on 2 pounds and have woken up stressed out with a headache for days. And my own teaching and classes begin next week and the week after. It feels like there's been no free break at all. I long for the days when I was sitting on the porch staring out at the expanse of Virginia trees.

How can I get back to more bounce?! Yeah. There it is. A blog post. Enjoy.