I was just enjoying my sweetheart sharing on our big screen TV photos he'd taken with his phone. Many were of our beautiful, adorable cats sunning themselves in beautiful light. And then several photos popped up of me and all I saw was a fat lady with thinning hair and yellowing buck teeth.
Isn't that terrible?
As soon as I saw them I begged him to delete them from his phone. Here we were laughing and enjoying the photos, and then when I saw the photos, I asked them to be deleted, and I could see the disappointment on his face, but he promised and deleted them. All I could do was give him a string of reasons for why -- then I started thinking about going to the dentist and getting all my teeth capped, and I thought about the weight and everything else and it began to CREEP.
Do you know what I mean?
It began to CREEP into my like "see? This is why you havent. . ." "This is why you never. . . " "This is why you
can't. . . " All of these terrible, negative thoughts stopping me from enjoying my body, my life, my sweetheart, my cats, and our memories.
Where do those stories come from? Who told me to think that way about myself? Certainly I didn't. Someone else put those ideas in my head.
Those are bad stories.
The best way to address those is to rewrite them -- affirm the experience of the body, the teeth, the head, and also to develop gratitude for the love and the memories that are connected to these memento photos. And of course, another item is to reflect on bigger issues like health rather than aesthetics.
Something to push through with -- I'm sure I'm not alone.